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OH THE RESPLENDENT! boldunderlineitallic / JUST BREATHE EASILY 
♠/ FLABBERGAST
designer: darkdegreepartofthecodes: detonatedlove brushes:jc.net images: moargh textues: peachinparis |
Sunday, May 18, 2008
back to being personal / 7:45 AM
back to personal. whatever. it's not like you all are the proest. !(i'm soooo happy darlings) cheers to the band with unethusastic sec 3s, slacking sec 4s and following-in-footsteps sec 2s. You know very well it's not about skills. it's about the social circle; having that= everything is just the mindset of a common bander. band has evolved to materialistic. and yes, edwin you can't deny that. oh. decribe hor, like backstab backstab backstab - so everyone wants to do that to me. another tragedy, another casualty. it's the same old rule buddy- i'm not going against you or what but rather- what's the use of a promise. what's the word "senior" mean- means they can bully you, pick on you, take away everything from you. why? i joined band because of music, or rather if I hated music would i still join band, will I still go for outdoor practices? when you don't know a shit about me- please take a sheet of toilet paper (from the toilet bowl) and wipe it on your face. you have an attitude. I don't have. so stop magline me having one. i know we are pwned, but so what did i stick up, get stuck up thinking I AM IMBA? (not talking about edwin) i thought someone else thought so. but i am going back to basics, see a great change in me. otherwise it's time to slash a wrist, jump off a building. talk about we being disrespectful to seniors, huh? it's seniors who started. (it's their problem and they are coming back to say: De Jun, let me tell you - oh you cannot carry on like this----[flickers my hopes, dreams, expectations]) oh so what, seniors are always helping those so close to their hearts. and it's like whatever. fine. bad people comes to bad conclusions. don't you just so agree. but when did i critize him in front of his face, like him being absolute insentive towards people's feelings. people have feelings, if you don't realise, senior. or rather junior or rather batch mate. oh I forgotten! you came in the same time you know, i think later. (nods head) you all know very well i am not in a good condition now, maybe on monday you'd see a better and more cheerful me. let's say I bet :D but most likely not. promise needs time, maybe i was looking at the message, archiving the sms for too long or freaking rather. maybe you all don't get my point for posting that post. maybe. hmmm, or rather misintepreted. hello to that person out there reading, i shall still attend band practice, put in 120% effort in what i do there, and then two more years, the section shall be a better place. Maybe I need something, maybe just one last step to forgiving, maybe it's just a time for me and him to sit down to talk with the help of someone else who is not baised, which is apparently not edwin. I'm in my sullen mood these few days, which probably will not explode in water or what, i need a clarification, i need a confrontation. otherwise, it'd be worse- only gets worse; it cannot get any further. anyway. cheers to "loveyoulots" gang. in class :D jared, sunyu and me. I've lost my dignity, trust, hope, love, faith, my everything already, and if I lose this time (when i'm already bankrupt) of such things, then what have I got to lose again, so just carry on even if now like really i am having tears in my eyes, life goes on. I need a confrontation. maybe that's what i need.
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having been in hwa chong institution (just like make it long so
you can preview a long post or wad that fits right down underneath which i think i shall crap all
day today) my eyes have been wanting to close since 20:00 (8PM)), I was so tired, cause the syllabus
in hwachong is really so hard that no one can sleep really well. The new CSE classes (aka. Centre
for Scholaristic Excellence) and is also known for it's famous nickname Cannot Sleep Everyday or
Early. Is like even the teachers know, so the homework is reduced, but it's like OMG! will die, this
year already so hard, next year i say "die!" mati already lar. arghs!NEXT, A RIOT OF COLORS, WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF ME. AND I KNOW THAT I BRUISE EASILY. LEAP OF FATE LIKE i never know and i'm learning to
fly and a safety net to cushion the blow. and i feel so suicidal and note "I BRUISE EASILY" and be
gentle when you handle me.
hello once again, i have been having nightmares,no one is doing
work for my project , whcih is true. supposed to do "family planning" is like whatever lar, when
will we be able to use it not like very soon we are gonna have kids, settle down, earn money have
NSman relief or whatsoever or even Children Relief, is like wtf. I am eating CIGAR ROLLS, they are
vilina flavoured and jsut finished my bowl of ice cream which tasted so mixed, haha btu it was ncie
to me (: I like mix of flavours liek suddenly a RIOT of colors and A EXPLOSION of taste! I mean like
it's really impactful come to think about it, and cause my project has to be handed in by friday so
i shall rush typign finish this retarded paragraph. like hello! ello! buhello! darkdegree will go on
HIATUS soon. and i am so emo, i feel like slashing my wrist now, it's true adn don't look down on me
for that i know people discriminate.